Super Easy, Super Delicious Vegan Pretzel Buns

Wow. A year and a half since I last posted anything on here - I guess what they don't tell you about Masters life is that it consumes you! I lived in halls for the first 3 semesters as well so baking wasn't really a possibility, however I've just moved into a new place all of my own and now I have the space and desire to bake again - just not really the time! 

1 month ago, it was my 27th birthday. And on my 27th birthday I received the best present I think I've ever had, and will ever get... A kitchenaid! Ok, so it's a bit overdramatic calling this the best thing I've ever received but having lusted after these beautiful machines since I was about 15 it really was a complete shock and a dream come true.

Meet Percy, the Pistachio Kitchenaid:-

 Man of my dreams.

In today's adventure, Percy and I decided to make pretzel buns. I've made these a couple of times and am playing with recipes at the moment to get the best one, but this is the best I've found so far... enjoy!

Fresh pretzels will always hold a special place in my heart as I grew up in South Germany and often used to grab a brezlen as a great way to start the day... or for lunch... or as a snack... Chewy, salty, sweet, with that unmistakable pretzel taste. This recipe is one that I've tweaked from a couple of different sources to come up with an infallible result. The nice thing is this is also a vegan recipe; it doesn't have to be though - it just happens that I had almond milk and margarine in rather than cow's milk and butter! These are super easy to make, incredibly versatile and can be used as lunch rolls or a dinner accompaniment.

Ingredients
1 Cup almond milk
2 Tablespoons margarine
2 Tablespoons light brown sugar
1 Tablespoon dried yeast

2 Teaspoons salt
2 Cups strong white bread flour - + 1 cup if needed.

3 Cups boiling water
1/2 Cup bicarbonate of soda

Coarse sea salt

Method
1) Heat the milk, margarine and sugar in a saucepan, do not allow to boil. Remove from the heat when the milk is just hot to the touch (the margarine may not be melted yet). Stand for 5 - 10 minutes until it's warm and add the yeast. Stir and stand for 15 minutes. By the end of this time, the yeast should be gooey and bubbly.

2) Slowly pour the yeast mixture into a stand mixer with the dough hook attached and the salt and bread flour in. I used 2 cups initially then added about 3/4 of the 3rd cup; the final 1/4 I used to knead the dough with. If you don't have a stand mixer then get your hands involved!

Percy loves an action shot

3) Mix until it forms a smooth dough; in the mixer it'll take about 10 minutes but by hand could be longer. Removing the dough from the bowl, knead in the remaining flour for about 5 minutes until the dough is smoother and easy to shape. Grease a bowl that's at least double the size of your dough, place the dough inside and cover with clingfilm. Rest for at least 1.5 hours in a warm, dry place. (I tend to preheat my oven, turn it off when I'm making the dough and shove it in there with the door cracked).

Pre-kneading...

Post Kneading!

4) Once the dough has at least doubled in size, turn it out onto a very lightly floured surface and gently knock it back (knead it again, but be very gentle). You just want to get it to a point where you can shape it again - about 30 seconds is probably too much.

Just starting...

Nearly there...

And we're risen!

 5) Shape the dough in 18 balls. Using a saucepan with the boiling water and bicarbonate of soda in (it'll fizz, don't worry but keep an eye on it), carefully place each ball of dough into the water for 20 seconds then drain and place on a baking tray. Sprinkle the tops of each one with a little sea salt.

6) Bake for 12 - 15 minutes at 180 degrees or until browned and cracked in appearance (they should sound hollow if you tap the bottom). Make sure to put a pan with some water in in the bottom of your oven when you bake them too as the steam adds to a gorgeous crust!

Chewy, crunchy, soft, salty. Perfect

If your rolls are a bit soggy it might be difficult to get them off the tray - make sure you use a knife or scraper to force them off whilst they're still warm or you'll have to tear them away. They can be frozen once baked, and are great defrosted and warmed up again!

Hopefully now I have my own space and energy to bake again I'll be updating the blog a bit more. See ya around!

2015 Round Up

For some reason I didn't do a review of 2014 - perhaps because 2014 was absolutely shit - but hey ho. Onwards and upwards. Here's a quick review of my year.

January
Nothing much happened in January, nothing much really ever happens in January. Mainly the month was spent sleeping, drinking and pole dancing. Not knowing if my job would be extended past March, I went for an interview at a 'rival' NHS Trust (but didn't get the job!)

Oooph. Yeah, this pose hurts.

February
In February I drove down to Stone Henge with my ex-boyfriend, an English Heritage site, and visited Ireland with my job for my first international recruitment trip (very exciting, much Guinness was consumed). I also enjoyed the Six Nations with a few good pints.

It was a tad chilly.

March

March saw my first invert in pole dancing, as well as a visit to Harry Potter World (Watford) as a very belated birthday present for my ex. I started to accept that my ex really was leaving in a months time and considered where I wanted to go next - back to uni? Move abroad? Stay in my current role and hope that my contract became permanent? In the end my job was extended to March 2016 and I started to look at work experience and volunteering for whenever I decided to go back to university.

Oh me? Just chilling.

April
Not a great month in some ways, a fantastic month in others. Actually, looking back, it was one of those months that felt like the world was imploding but actually it's a month that has changed me as a person for the better. My ex moved out at the end of the month and I moved back home; but more significantly I applied for a Masters program in Occupational Therapy. Four days before the deadline. Feeling incredibly raw and unloved, I spent the last few days of April licking my wounds and hoping that this might be the change I need. 

May
Well, if April was the worst month of the year, then May was one of the best ones. I went to see Avenue Q (absolutely hilarious, you must go see it!), had a lovely birthday, did my first 10km run (in just a few seconds over an hour) and most of all, got an interview for the Masters course I applied for on the spur of the moment. I started working out more and running more regularly. I also started volunteering with an amazing local charity called Lindengate who work with service users with a history of mental illness and promote health through socio-therapeutic horticulture. 

June

Throughout June I got the chance to spend time with my family, as my Mum, sister and I banded together to surprise my Dad with a day trip to a local lake and beauty spot for Fathers Day. Unfortunately my tickets for the Foo Fighters at Wembley were cancelled as Dave Grohl broke his leg in an earlier show and I took a trip up North to visit two universities with a view to studying next September. One was massively unsuccessful and had me questioning my new career choice but the other was significantly more positive. 

July
Where to start with July? Busy busy month. But an amazing one! Firstly, the annual Summer Ball happened and as always, it was a fantastic night out with lots of laughter and fun. We had another family outing, this time to Waddesdon Manor, a local National Trust estate home. I got tickets for the rescheduled Foo Fighters gig and picked up a couple more for Of Monsters and Men and Bullet for My Valentine. More pole dancing happened but most importantly I received a very important letter telling me I'd been accepted to study on the Masters I interviewed for back in May. 

August
August started with a bang as I attended one of my best friend's hen dos, comprising of a high ropes obstacle course and then a lot of drinking! Her wedding came in August as well and I had a wonderful time with old friends celebrating the marriage of a fantastic couple. Far too much champagne was consumed! As well as celebrating with old friends, I spent time celebrating the unique fun of pole dancing with new friends. I made a decent start on baking my way through the Great British Bake Off 2015, but ultimately would succumb to the evil of 'no time to bake' 5 weeks in. (N.B. no photos of August because apparently... I spent nearly all of it drunk).

September

I performed my first ever pole routine in my school's competition and had a whale of a time watching everyone else dance, Saw the Foo Fighters perform at the MK Bowl (one to tick off the music bucket list!). Made an awful, awful cheesecake and an even worse beetroot cake. But I did make a pretty special fox cake - see below - and saw The Great British Bake Off; An Extra Slice being filmed - and got to meet Mat, the baker who left that week after the filming! Lets not talk about the main event of September too much, eh? Even though the English performance in the Rugby World Cup was horrendously disappointing, I did have a great evening seeing Fiji vs Uruguay and I will never forget the Japan vs South Africa game. Exciting stuff. I had a wonderful weekend with the annual Pluck family gathering, this time complete with extended family in attendance.

Francois - He's a sophisticated French victorian gent, thank you very much

October

October bought with it the wind and the rain, as well as my one year pole-anniversary! I ran my first 10k race, finishing 34th out of 87 women, and clocked a time of 56 minutes 15 seconds, on a largely grassy track, which is definitely going to add minutes if you normally run on the road like I do (yeah... that's what I keep telling myself anyway). 2016s 10km aim has therefore become a sub 56 minute 10k. My parents left me to watch house for two weeks, so naturally I responded by having an awesome house party with some old friends. Hallowe'en came and went in a blur of zombie cheerleader makeup and tequila shots.

Foot grab Gemini hold

November

Even though it was only November, our pole studio's Christmas party was an excellent way to start the month and Christmas festivities (!) as well as an opportunity for some crazy drunken pole dancing. The day after was filled with more friends and board games as we all tried to recover... Later on in the month I travelled to Sheffield to sort out paperwork for my course and got a chance to meet some of the people I'll be working and studying with for the next two and a half years. I rounded off the month with the Of Monsters and Men gig in Lincoln, which was fantastic. 

December

As it should be, December has been filled with friends, family and lots of festive cheer. By and large I have been making my way around saying goodbye to all the wonderful people I know and love here in my little town in Buckinghamshire whilst trying to remember that Sheffield isn't that far away! A beer festival happened... which was filled with lots of lovely beer and listening to some amazing live bands and ended up in me home by 10pm. My Dad took me and my mum to see the Cambridge vs Oxford varsity rugby match at Twickenham for a great day out. I finished my job with the recruitment team a couple of weeks ago and am now in full swing of getting everything sorted out for the big move next weekend. I went ice skating for the first time in a good few years with my family as a Boxing Day outing and welcomed in the New Year with friends old and new. 

All I can say is... I hope 2016 carries on in the same manner, with lots of great new friends, keeping in contact with the old ones and many more exciting adventures, whether they're drunk, sober or in between! I'm off to university next week to study Occupational Therapy and relive my student years (for about two weeks, until the hard work starts again!). I don't think I'd have believed you this time last year if you'd said it was going to be this good. But it was. It was better than I could ever have hoped for. Most of all, I've learnt this year that happiness doesn't come from others, it comes from yourself. 

My brief goals for 2016: 

- Carry on pole dancing

- Come out of my first year of my Masters with good grades and placement feedback

- Carry on running (2 x 5k races, 1 x 10k race, start training for a half marathon in 2017) 

- Enjoy myself along the way!

- Find a volunteering project similar to Lindengate up in Sheffield in my free time
- Get this blog and my other blog sorted out!
- Lose fat and gain muscle to become mega fit.

I hope you've also had a great year and I would love to hear what your goals are!

Great British Bake Off Challenge - Week 5; 'Alternative Ingredients'

The first thing that sprang to mind when I heard that the initial bake of week 5 was sugar free cake was beetroot chocolate cake so lets ignore the fact that I said in my cheesecake post I'd be making a polenta cake, shall we? 

Mind you, a polenta cake may have been more sensible and my kitchen may not look like a crime scene if I had stuck to that plan, but ohhhh well. 

Beetroot added to cake sounds disgusting but is actually probably one of my favourite methods because when done well it yields a wonderfully sticky, moist and fudgey texture to a chocolate cake. This cake is no different however the lack of sugar means that it tastes rather... uhm, earthy. Whilst there is some definite sweetness to the taste it's not overwhelming and if your taste buds are tuned to sweetness like most peoples are when presented with a slice of cake then you'll probably dislike this quite a lot. I am in two minds whether I like it or not. I mean, I don't dislike it, but I wouldn't go crazy over making it again in this form. I'd happily make another beetroot cake! 

The ganache and strawberries really save this cake even though the ganache definitely defeats the object of not using refined sugar. Whilst we're tentatively on the subject of what you can legitimately use in a sugar free cake, I think we need to have a brief discussion about how a) what you bake on the show should probably be edible and b) how a cake is a sweet item, and not a savoury one, so not including any sugar at all would not yield a cake at the end. Yes, honey, maple syrup and agave syrup are all still sugars but then so are fruits (fructose) and natural sweeteners such as Xylitol and stevia. I saw the challenge as more of a 'Don't make a cake using your traditional grain sugars' rather than 'Don't use any sweet ingredients at all'. 

Anyway. 

Once again, I've slightly adapted a recipe I've found online, this time it's from The Wholesome Cook. 

3 cups self raising flour

2 tsp baking powder

1 tsp bicarb of soda

6 tbsp cocoa powder

2 tsp Chinese five spice powder

1 cup of raw grated beetroot

2/3 cup of olive oil

2/3 cup of honey

1 1/3 cup of cold water

2 tbsp vanilla extract 

250g dark chocolate

275ml double cream

Oven temp: 150 degrees fan. Line a spring release tin with greaseproof paper.

Combine all the dry ingredients with the beetroot and mix well. 

In a separate bowl, whisk together the wet ingredients and combine with the dry. Fold in gentley with a wooden spoon. 

Transfer to the pre-pared tin and bake for 30 - 35 minutes, or until a skewer comes out clean.

To make the ganache put the double cream in a glass bowl over a bain marie until warm (don't boil it). Add the chocolate and remove from the heat, stir until all melted. Chill in the fridge for two hours or until set enough to spread on the cake. 

Reasons Why You Should Run

Running has quickly become a huge part of my life - I currently run three to four times a week and often feel a bit 'odd' if I don't get chance to run. But if you'd have said to me even five months ago that I'd be running this much, training for a 10k in October and loving every second of it I'd have called you crazy. See, I haven't always been a runner... My running watch will tell you that much. I've dabbled in running since I was at university but never really pushed myself to run to a routine, or to run further/faster/better. Until I moved back home in April this year, that is.

See, the end of my four year long relationship with my ex boyfriend brought me to a turning point - I could either sit and mope around, doing nothing with my life or I can grab my newly single self and shake shit up. I chose the latter. So I chose running. I dropped some cash on a new set of running shoes and wrote up some goals to try and achieve.

I started out with 3.5k, and have worked my way up to 6.5k for a regular run and 10k when I'm feeling fresh. But how? Running is horrible. Well, it is when you start. The reasons I run include:

• The feeling of achieving my goals. At first it was just to run continuously for 15 - 20 - 25 minutes, now it's 50 - 55 - 60 minutes. Pace wise I started out running at a 6:30 pace consistently; I'm now working to bring that down to a 5:20 pace and my ultimate goal is a sub 5 minute/km pace for initially a 5k, then 10k.
• The feeling of setting new goals and knowing that I will eventually achieve them. My original goal of running a 5k has now morphed in a 10k and actually, I'm strongly considering the idea of a half marathon next summer.
• The knowledge that I am infinitely more mentally strong than I give myself credit for. Mental strength and will power, much like physical strength, are muscles that must be exercised to be improved. Every time I come home from work and lace up my running shoes I am flexing those muscles. Every time I want to sit on the sofa and eat chocolate all night rather than be a productive member of society I have to exercise those muscles.
• The calm tranquility of a long run cannot be beaten. All worries slip away when all you've got to worry about is whether or not you're keeping the right pace. Nothing else matters but your foot steps. On my runs I write stories, I listen to music, I debate philosophy and ethics, I muse about what car I want to drive in ten years time.
• That runners high. I promise it exists (it took about three months of three runs a week for mine to appear though).
• You can improve very quickly in a very short space of time with running  - check out my running progress on my MapMyRun profile. If I can do it, then so can you!
• For every bad run, there is an equally great one.
• Because one day, I won't be able to run.

Whether you run 1km or 10km, it doesn't matter. Nor does it matter if you run at a 7 minute per kilometre pace or a 4 minute per kilometre pace - because the battle you are fighting on each run is your own. No-one out there knows how far you've run, how far you have left or how fast you're running. And anyone who cares probably aint running themselves, so sod them. Just get out there and run. 

Great British Bake Off Challenge - Week 4; Baked Cheesecake

Oh dear, it had to happen at least once in this challenge, didn't it? I had a total fail. An absolute flop. If I had been in The Tent, it  may have ended up being another Bin-Gate style scandal (Cheesecake-Gate doesn't have the same ring to it, thankfully). It was so bad it went almost straight in the bin. Dessert week got me, and it got me good. Not wanting to make crème brûlées and not really knowing what a Spanischer Windtorte was, I decided to tackle baked cheesecake. I'm not a particular fan of baked cheesecake so I've never attempted one before and well... I probably won't attempt one again any time soon. 

I had grand ideas for this; what about a chocolate and honeycomb baked cheesecake with a dark chocolate biscuit base and honeycomb crushed over the top? It'd surely look and taste amazing. Rich, creamy dark chocolate cheesecake and crackly, golden homemade honeycomb running through it. Yum. A true showstopper! 

The best laid plans eh?

That being said, I don't think it was the recipe that was the problem. It was me. I overworked the mixture, and then cooked it totally inappropriately. I ended up with this rather sad mess:

Oooph. I can hear Sue softly weeping in the background. I can feel Paul's glare. Mary would have a small heart attack trying to summon up something nice to say about this monstrosity.

Poor, poor cheesecake. I couldn't do much other than put it out of it's misery... by putting it in the bin. I did try a bit (for science!) and it made me feel thoroughly sick.

Yes, that base is burnt. The sides are burnt. The top is burnt with shards of honeycomb melted into it (apparently if you sprinkle honeycomb on top of something that's going to bake for 45 minutes it'll melt and then harden, because you know, high sugar content). The middle is strangely under AND overcooked. The honeycomb has dissolved from the mixture to nothing. It's sunk in the middle and become dense and uh, chewy. The honeycomb that I made largely stuck to the pan and ended up being abandoned until two days later when it had become a soft sticky mess.

No recipe this week because who the frick would want to recreate that mess?! Maybe I overworked the mix (I definitely overworked the mix). Maybe I had the temperature on the wrong setting (180 - would 160 have been better for my fan oven?). Maybe I set it too close to the bottom of the oven. Should I have used Tamal's bain marie method? Maybe, Should I have just eaten the chilled base and not bothered adding the mixture? I'm inclined to say yes.

Whilst I lick my wounds, I'll be sticking to chilled cheesecakes for a little while I think. Though things may take another turn for the worse as I attempt to tackle polenta cake for Week 5 - Alternative Ingredients week...

Great British Bake Off Challenge - Week 3; Quick Bread

Apologies for the late entry for this post; my laptop mouse pad has had a bit of a senior moment so I've had to hunt down a mouse in order to use it. As such, week 4 will be coming up tomorrow...

I'll preface this entry with a simple fact; I hate baking bread. I hate baking bread with a passion. I hate having to knead it because it makes my hands sticky, I hate waiting for it to prove because I'm impatient and most of all I hate that 9 times out of 10 when I attempt to bake bread it doesn't work. I hate it I hate it I HATE IT! So needless to say bread week is not my favourite and was indeed the episode I was looking least forward to creating something from.

That is, until I discovered Alvin's Prosciutto, Manchego and Balsamic Red Onion Soda Bread recipe. This stuff is amazing. I've made three loaves of it since the episode aired two weeks ago and I will be making it again without a shadow of a doubt. It's a hearty, stout bread that is just as fantastic on it's own as it is with a soup. I'm very much looking forward to making loaves of this in the depths of winter to go with stew, goulash, pies and other 'stick to your ribs' meals. You can eat this plain or smother it with butter. Either way, it's a definite treat and one that's sure to go down well with anyone who enjoys a good filling bread.

I can't get over how easy this bread really is to make. It's so simple - there's no prooving, no kneading, no yeast that needs to be alive and smells like a brewery. It's just like a cake really with a some unconventional mixing methods! Well, apart from the fact that you get a wonderful loaf of bread at the end rather than a yummy cake snack. And compared to how long it took me to make the Arlettes of week 2, this was a walk in the park!

You could adapt the ingredients in this fairly easily. Instead of Manchego cheese (impossible to find in my semi-rural local Tesco) I plumped for Comte cheese, on the basis that it looked like a hard cheese and Manchego is hard, right? Well, not really the same thing as Manchego is a sheeps cheese and Comte is an unpasteurised cows cheese; but having never eaten either before I was sure that they'd swap easily enough. Comte is a fairly nutty flavoured cheese compared to Manchego's 'buttery texture' (thanks Google) but it is certainly a good accompaniment to the acid-y sweetness of the onions and the salty ham. I swapped prosciutto and parma ham for similar reasons in my original bake but went back to prosciutto for the second and third loaves and honestly can't tell the difference. I also left out the extra salt as I found that my first loaf was fairly salty from the ham.

The final adaptation I made was to not put the ham on top of my second and third loaves - I found on the first loaf it just burnt and turned into extremely crispy bacon. Putting the foil on top after it's had chance to brown stops this from happening to the onions that are placed on top.

Don't forget to score it into quarters, as this helps the bread to grow and bake properly.

Recipe
You can find the original recipe here; I would urge you to go there straight away and bake this little beauty for yourself. I adapted it slightly as per the below:

2 tablespoons olive oil
2 large red onions, finely sliced
4 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
2 tablespoons soft brown sugar

450g plain white flour
1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda (double check it's in date as it's the only raising agent in this bread!)
Pinch of dried herbs - I used basil, parsley, a small amount of coriander and rosemary
30g cold salted butter, diced
200g Comte cheese, diced irregularly
80g Prosciutto or other finely sliced ham, roughly torn
300ml buttermilk with 25ml cold water stirred through

Oven temp: 200C/180C Fan oven. Line a baking tray with greaseproof paper.

Warm the oil in a non-stick frying pan over a medium heat. Add the sliced red onions and stir, reducing the heat slightly. Cover and cook for 15 minutes stirring occasionally so they don't stick. Turn the heat down low and add the sugar and vinegar; stir and increase the heat and cook for a further 5 to 8 minutes, until sticky and the vinegar has almost all evaporated. Set aside to cool.

Combine the flour, bicarbonate of soda and herbs in a bowl. Using your fingertips rub the butter in until it resembles fine breadcrumbs. I find it easier to keep going until you think it's done and then shake the bowl vigorously to bring any further butter chunks to the top of the bowl.

Keeping back 1 tablespoon of the cooked onions and a small amount of cheese for the topping, add the remaining cheese, onions and all of the proscuitto/ham. Toss to incorporate - at first the onions and ham will clump together but eventually the flour will dry them enough to allow all three ingredients to disperse evenly in the mixture. Just have faith and keep going!

Make a well in the middle of the flour mix and pour in roughly three quarters of the buttermilk and water mixture. Using a clawed hand mix the flour into the buttermilk well until a sticky dough is formed. Add further buttermilk if you feel like the mixture is too dry (I ended up adding all the buttermilk all three times I've made this). It should be fairly sticky and no flour should be left in the bowl.

Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface and shape roughly. You can work it a little bit here but you don't need to. You do need to try and shape the dough though so if you are finding it's falling all over the place you may want to give it a bit of a light battering. Once shaped, transfer onto the greaseproof paper and score the top quite deeply with a cross.

Throw the rest of the cheese and onions on top. Bake in the middle of the oven for 15 minutes and then cover so that the onions don't burn. Bake for a further 20 - 25 minutes or until it comes away cleanly from the greaseproof paper and sounds hollow when tapped.

Cool on a wire rack; at least until lukewarm as this is truly a bread that needs a little time to sit and chill. The runny cheese inside though is quite a treat if you can't wait that long!

Great British Bake Off Challenge - Week 2; Arlette Biscuits

It amazes me every year how they manage to come up with different technical challenges to bake - and every year I think I know each one but rarely do! The Arlette biscuit from last week's show is not something I've ever come across but being a lover of cinnamon swirls and always up for a pastry related challenge I decided that I would try the blind technical challenge.

Luckily for me, the official GBBO website has the full website with complete instructions on so I don't have to guess at timings, quantities or method! Which is great because this is a strangely complicated recipe that requires hours to do. I'm not exaggerating - from weighing my first ingredients out to having a finished product cooked it took over 4 hours. You can make these using store bought puff pastry which would speed the process up but where's the fun in that? 

However - they are completely worth the effort.

They're not quite what I'd call a biscuit, more of a pastry to me, but they are absolutely yummy and I would definitely make them again. I'd probably make them from scratch again; it is a lovely feeling to know that you've put all the effort in. I did run into a couple of butter related issues but overall they seem to have turned out ok! I doubled the recipe so I ended up with 16 decent sized biscuits. 

I learnt a few of things along the way - 

1) Don't rush the chill times. Equally, don't overchill. My pastry was fine but my butter layer cracked when I tried to incorporate it. I'm not sure if this is because I overchilled it (I chilled it for nearly an hour rather than half an hour as it still felt squidgy) or because I underchilled it but it meant that I had to attempt to incorporate squidgy butter into hard pastry... In the end I dolloped as much underneath and on top as I could and rewrapped it in clingfilm. This made it easier to get the butter into the pastry. Arguably this has affected the end result, as puff pastry puffs from the butter in between the pastry layers.

2) Turn them in the middle of the cooking time. I often neglect to do this with other biscuits but it really makes a difference with these; if you don't turn them then the bottom sugar/cinnamon combination will probably catch and burn. Turning them ensures a nice colour all around.

3) Don't skimp on the sugar and cinnamon mixture. It looks like a lot to go in but if you skimp then you'll end up with quite bland puff pastry that doesn't really resemble a biscuit in any way.

4) Roll the pastry as tight as you can at the penultimate stage. A loose roll will mean that it's harder to cut your biscuits and they will not make a 'whole' biscuit when they're baked.

5) Using a small rolling pin is easier than a large one when you're rolling out the rounds prior to baking. Aim for as thin as you can get - the thinner they are, the better the taste. 

Yes, it's a four hour effort. But you're actually only working on these every 30 - 45 minutes and only for five to ten minutes at the time. Set aside a morning and get them done! 

Great British Bake Off Challenge - Week 1; Madeira Cake

This year I am challenging myself to make at least one bake from the British TV show, The Great British Bake Off. GBBO is hands down my favourite annual TV event (the Rugby Six Nations comes a close second) and every year I loudly shout about how I'm going to make some of the recipes... but I never do.

Not this year. This year I will hold my word.

I have decided - nay, promised - that I will make at least one of the bakes from the show each week.

The first episode of the 2015 series saw the new bakers tackle Madeira cake, whip out a Walnut cake, and finish up with decadent Black Forest Gateaux. All three are bakes I would love to make and consume as they're among my favourite baked goods (BFG... unffff) but in the interest of ease, creativity and intrigue I've opted for a Madeira sponge.

I've never made a Madeira before, which is largely why I chose it for my first GBBO challenge, but equally as I really wanted to try candied peel. What can I say? I'm an overachiever.

I ended up making two; one to take into work with me and one to devour with my family. This was irrefutably a good plan as there's now just half of the second one left even though they only came out of the oven 2 hours ago...

Hows that crumb looking? Sadly this one came out a little overcooked on the sides and top but the inside is still fairly moist and has a lovely vanilla and lemon flavour. The recipe I used (see below) called for almond extract but in it's absence I used vanilla. It's a fairly close textured cake but I feel it would probably come under a fair bit of scrutiny from Mr Hollywood!

I'm pleasantly pleased with how the candided peel/orange slices came out. I used to the left over syrup on top of both of the cakes and found I had just enough to drizzle. Nice. It was a lot simpler to make than I thought it would be as well - the first recipe I found suggested it would take over 3 hours to make; mine took 35 minutes.

Hopefully this one will be appreciated tomorrow!

Madeira Cake recipe

Adapted from I'd Much Rather Bake Than...

• 175g butter, room temperature
• 175g caster sugar
• 3 eggs, room temperature, cracked and whisked
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 150g self raising flour
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 75g ground almonds
• Splash of milk

Cream the butter for around 5 minutes with a hand mixer until it's very soft and creamy. It should go a lot lighter; almost white. 

Slowly add in the sugar, whilst still using the mixer. Keep mixing it for another 5 or so minutes - your aim is to completely combine the sugar and butter into a creamy paste. 

Combine the eggs and vanilla extract in a jug and add slowly to the mix in stages. Keep mixing as you add. For the first few glugs the mixture will start to thicken but by the last it should have started to release again. 

Sift in the flour, baking powder and almonds in two parts. Be sure not to get any almond lumps or 'debris' in the mix. Fold this in using a metal spoon. You've added a lot of air in the previous three stages, now you're folding in the dry ingredients gently to keep that air there! 

Splash the milk in so that the mixture releases a little more. It should be fairly runny. Turn the mix into either a lined loaf tin or a lined and greased round tin.

Bake for 30 - 45 minutes at 150oC, keeping an eye on the top. You should get a crack down the middle but be careful not to let the colour go too dark. If it's starting to catch then cover the cake with tin foil and return to the oven. I put a cake tin with water in at the bottom of my oven to generate some steam; which I think helped. I will have to try without and compare the two!

The cake is done when a skewer comes out cleanly. Leave it in the tin for ten minutes and then turn it out. 

If you're using syrup, poke some holes in the cake with a toothpick and drizzle the syrup when the cake is out of the tin.

Candied Peel Recipe

Taken from Food and Wine.com

• 1 large orange 
• 1 1/2 cups of water
• 1/2 cup of granulated sugar

Either slice the orange thinly or remove the peel in thin chunks and lines using a sharp knife. Set aside. 

Put the water and sugar in a saucepan and stir; bring to the boil. 

Once boiling, add the orange pieces or peel. Simmer for 20 - 25 minutes until the syrup has thickened and the fruit has gone translucent. Remove from the pan and place on greaseproof paper to cool. Drizzle the remaining syrup over the cake and place the orange pieces/peel on decoratively.

If you're making candied peel, be very careful as sugar water gets very hot and it sticks if it touches your skin! 

Next week it's biscuits - another enjoyable thing to bake! 

Instagram Round Up #2

Since my last Instagram round up back in January last year (!) things have changed an awful lot.

Quite frankly, I have little desire to go and reminisce over last year as it was filled with arguments, deaths and break ups, but I truly believe that we can see beauty in the most dark of places if we look hard enough... so here are some of my favourites photos from the last year and 3 months.

Last year we welcomed Ben and Jerry (Top left and right corners) into our lives and I passed my driving test! I've started to get more involved in my jewellery making and baking, as well as going to the gym - I love working out now. Last year proved to me that family is more than important in my life and I love all of them very much. The blanket in the bottom corner was crocheted for me as a Christmas present by my amazingly talented sister!

I love using Instagram, so don't forget to follow me on there - username is itsanatnat.

You can expect a baking post or two this week coming, as we're having a Red Nose Day bake off at work. Until then, laters!

Time to Change: A frank and open discussion about mental illness.

This post is a little off colour from my normal repertoire – and to be perfectly honest was really hard for me to write. I have wanted to write something about this for a while now but I’ve never really pulled up the courage before. When I saw Time to Change’s new year campaign ‘Time to Talk’ I knew this was an opportunity to talk frankly and openly about my experiences with mental illness in a way that I’ve never managed to do so before. I wrote this post back in January and moved it immediately into my scheduled blog posts so that I couldn’t back down from sharing this with you. Both writing it and posting it have been hard – getting me to talk about myself is comparable to getting blood out of a stone when it’s been sat in a freezer for two weeks. One thing I try to remember is that “life begins outside of your comfort zone.” I am well and truly away from my comfort zone with this post!

In the past I’ve always admire those who can blog and share their experiences of mental health so openly on such a wide platform as Youtube, Wordpress or Blogger. It truly amazes me how you wonderful people can share experiences that are so internally painful with grace and ease; it’s something I’ve never ever been able to do, even as a child. In fact, as a kid my common response to pain or embarrassment was to run away from everyone until I got over it. Growing up this response just got stronger and stronger until I couldn’t cope with the pressure and strain of it any more. I still turn and run from difficult situations and would rather ignore something distressing than deal with it.

This is my story.

I’m going to throw a trigger warning in here. From here on it, it gets a bit gritty. Stay with me if you can. 

I had a pretty good childhood, all things considered. My parents are still together, and I have a wonderfully loving sister who has always been by my side. At school, I got average grades for my school, but for the real world, pretty good results. After GCSE, I stopped caring. I didn’t attend most of my AS level classes and consequently I flunked out hard in my exams. I fought to retain my place in the sixth form and realigned my life plans because I had nothing else.  

I started self-harming at the age of 15. Initially it was just a scratch here, easily covered by a watch or bracelet. Then it was sneaking into the bathroom at 2am at night to grab a razor to pull apart. Self-harm is one of the most backwards coping mechanisms ever that might actually make a lick of sense. Research tells us that the physical pain is so much easier to cope with mentally than emotional pain. You can block out physical pain with some will power, or treat it with painkillers, TCP or a pressure bandage. You can’t bandage over emotional pain, you have to deal with it. I hid it well for years; I didn’t tell anyone until I was 19. I should stress here again that you need to remember my first instinct to something horrible is to run from it and hide away. So I ran. I spent four years running from myself and my family when I should have been turning to them. When I first told my friend, he did the best he could do. He took me to the doctors and then to the pharmacy to fill in my anti-depressant prescription. Anti-depressants aren’t fun, and they have some pretty nasty side effects, but they do work for some people. Unfortunately I’m not one of them. One of the side effects of the medication I was on was an increase in suicidal ideation (that is, thoughts of suicide with intent). Within in three weeks I was in A+E having attempted to take my life.

I was lucky. My friends and family both realised that something was wrong, and managed to track me down. I owe my life to them, because I wouldn’t be here today if they hadn’t taken the time to search for me. I will be forever grateful to them all because on that day they didn’t only physically save my life, they reminded me why I’m here and why I need to be around. No matter how far away they are, I know that they will be there for me whenever I need them. I don’t have to carry this alone. I don’t have to hide my scars around them and be afraid of their looks. They don’t judge me. I feel shame when I think of that time; shame that I could leave my family and friends so prematurely when so many others don't get the choice, and guilt that I put the people I love the most through hell.

Three and a half years later, I can’t lie and say that everything is better. Some days are like swimming upstream through treacle. I can be the worst person to live with at times – I don’t know how my parents put up with me so long, or how my loving other half puts up with it now if I’m honest – because some days I am an ogre. Little things can become a massive deal when I’m in a low mood. I cry at everything. When it’s really bad, I sit on my sofa and don’t move for hours. Making a cup of tea is the biggest effort in the world; and showering is out of the question. Luckily it’s not been that bad for a while. I think it’s important for anyone struggling with a mental health issue to remember that it’s ok to have a bad day, but it’s not ok to let that bad day become bigger than that. It’s the same as if you broke your arm. Some days, it’s going to ache and hurt more than other days, but it won’t last forever.

Nothing however will ever change if you don’t let it. You have to open up and reach out to others and allow them to support you through this difficult time. If you’re reading this and you’re worried about someone you love – then help take the burden from them. Talk to them. Find out what’s going on inside their head, because it is the loneliest and coldest place to be when you feel like you’re trapped alone with your thoughts and no-one to turn to. No-one is ever alone.

To end, a quote from the wonderful Stephen Fry -

"Depression isn't a straightforward response to a bad situation, depression just is, like the weather. 

Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness and loneliness they're going through. Be there for them when they come through the other side. It's hard to be a friend to someone who's depressed but it's one of the kindest, noblest and best things you will ever do."

Lipstick Haul

Due to a number of factors, including my intense dislike for my mouth and my other half's disdain of any kind of lip coating, I never really owned many lipsticks and certainly wouldn't spend a lot of money on them... that was, until I got collectively ambushed by two friends and a whole lot of internet browsing.

Swatches first:

I picked out two GOSH lipsticks and two Maybelline lipsticks for my first foray into 'expensive' lip products. I tried to go for a range of colours to give myself a nice wide base of options. Kitten Pink is a lot brighter and more barbie pink than in this photo but for the most part, the colours are pretty accurate here to the swatches in real life. As you can see already, there is a lot of pigment in these which makes a nice change to my older, cheap lipsticks!

GOSH Kitten Pink

This is a gorgeous barbie doll pink shade which really pops out at you. I can't wait to wear this in summer with a nice floaty dress! It's a bit too bright for winter but I must admit I have worn it out once or twice because I am just in love with the shade. Unfortunately as you can see it's a bit cakey on my lips and seems to fade out easily, but it's worth the reapplication for that gorgeous colour. Definitely my favourite of the four!

GOSH Darling

The picture for this makes it look a lot more pink and less peachy than it is, probably due to the slightly dodgy lighting I was getting at the end of the day. I picked this as I wanted a nude shade to use for simple lip looks when I go with heavy eyes, but the tone is really too subtle for my liking. It's not as cakey as Kitten Pink but it is still a little hard to handle which I think (yes, from my sample size of two) is probably quite indicative of GOSH lipsticks in general. It does make a nice base for my aforementioned cheap lippies though so worth the punt!

Maybelline Pink Brown

Unf, I love this colour. On the lip in this photo it resembles Darling quite closely but in real life it's much pinker and much more subtle than the GOSH lipstick. This is now my go to for work because it's subtle but it finishes off my work make up perfectly. It's not in your face in anyway which I really like. Both the Maybelline lipsticks have a great pigment to them and cover really nicely, even when my lips are feeling a little dry. I was more than impressed with this shade and can really see myself using it a lot in the future!

Maybelline Magic Mauve

I seem for some reason to be drawn more for mauvey lipsticks than pink ones, and this is no exception. Magic Mauve is a step up from Pink Brown but not as extreme as Kitten Pink which makes it perfect for a night down the pub. It has a lovely shimmer to it as well which makes your lips look you've put gloss on without that horrible sticky feeling! I can see myself getting a lot of use out this one as well. The colour is just gorgeous.

So, verdict wise. Darling is not a lipstick I will be using a lot, it makes my lips feel really cakey and dry and the colour is not me at all. It does work nicely as a base though, so it will have it's uses. Pink Kitten is a fab, fun colour but far too bright for most days! Pink Brown is a versatile and grown up shade which I really love and use a lot. Finally, Magic Mauve reminds me of my early teen years where I used to grabe whatever shimmery pink thing I could find apply it to my lips which makes me more than happy! I will definitely be going back for more Maybelline lipsticks, but I probably won't bother with GOSH again.

I want it all, I want it now! -January Wishlist Edition-

Oh man, all the pretty things!

First things first, I desperately need a new camera... My old Canon compact has been AWOL since about May :( I remember bringing it back from university with me, but somewhere along the way it's gone missing. Strangely I have the memory cards all accounted for and the charger - but no camera. Weird. I have yet to decide what I want but I am seriously considering moving towards a nice, sleek bridge camera rather than a point and shoot again. Currently the main contender is the Canon Powershot SX500. I must admit, I am a bit of a shameless Canon fan girl... (If you have any better suggestions or comments on the Powershot, please leave me a comment!)

For some reason I am craving new lipsticks... odd, as I don't really wear lipstick (for one, I don't really like my mouth, and for two, my other half can't stand lipstick). I'd love to try out a blood red lip, but I fear I'm too pale so my preferred shade is a sweet baby doll pink or natural nude. Currently I am lusting over Mac's 'Impassioned' unfortunately £15 for a lipstick is just a little out of my price range, so I'll be searching for a decent dupe!

Personally I think that black skinny jeans are a wardrobe must have... which has left me baffled as to why I don't actually *have* any! They don't have to be fancy, they don't have to be expensive, but they have to be comfy which is why I will almost certainly be picking up a pair of these supersoft skinny jeans from New Look as soon as possible.

For most beauty bloggers and readers, it won't come as a surprise that I would love to get my hands on the Naked 3 palette. Or the Naked 2 palette, or Naked palette for that matter. But really what I'm waiting for here is the MUA dupe that's bound to appear! Whilst I wait though, I really need the MUA Smokin' palette. I wear nude and neutral eyeshadows almost exclusively so having a variety of palettes in the shade range is very important to me. Smokin' would allow me to add a hint of deep colour to my looks whilst remaining subtle and professional.

My final dream item for January is this absolutely gorgeous bag from Accessorize. I love the colour, the size and I need it in my life. Right about now. I love greens and this deep shape is no exception.

I'd also love a car, a pink driving licence, a few dozen reliable memory card readers, a new fish tank, pretty 'home' bits and bobs, more jewellery making stuff (luckily I have a gift card for Hobbycraft that will take care of that little problem!), a nice new blog design, stationery, loads more nail varnish, another fluffier onesie, a kitten or two and a Fitbit Flex if anyone is feeling generous ;)